We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
