don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Holy shit dude........stairs
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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