One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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