Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
