Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
So many bounce houses so little time
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
