i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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