Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I don't deserve a penis
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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