I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?