i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Vodka?
Forever.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize