Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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