How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
