do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
When did angry sex become our thing?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize