That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My dick has a subreddit
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
