It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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