so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
