Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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