Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize