At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
