So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
