I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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