It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
