I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
