Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
