So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
