I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
