worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
