We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
