Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
