what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
