dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
