I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
