don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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