Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
