so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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