Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
