im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
