How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
BRING THE BAGELS
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
