My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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