We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
