talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
