"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
