HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
