You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
