Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I wannas sexs uuuuu
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
