Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
