I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
