i'm lost and i look like a hooker
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
