am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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