You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
