biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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