so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
don't judge my taste in strippers
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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