wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
