We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
