lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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