What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
