Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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