I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
