I looked at my own cervix.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
