Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
