ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize