last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
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