Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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