At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
