she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
