so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
