She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
