If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
