i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
