chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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